Pearls & Peridots

Foolish heart looks like we’re here again
Same old game of plastic smile
Don’t let anybody in
Hiding my heartache
Will this glass house break?
How much will they take
Before I’m empty
Do I let it show?
Does anybody know?

Chorus:
But You see the real me
Hiding in my skin
Broken from within
Unveil me completely
I’m loosening my grasp
There’s no need to mask my frailty
Oh, Cause You see the real me

Painted on
Life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown
I’m tired of the song and dance
Living a charade
Always on parade
What a mess I’ve made of my existence
But You love me even now
And still I see somehow

Chorus:
But You see the real me
Hiding in my skin,
Broken from within
Unveil me completely
I’m loosening my grasp
There’s no need to mask my frailty
Oh, Cause You see the real me

Bridge:
Wonderful, beautiful
Is what You see
When You look at me
You’re turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry

Oh, I just wanna be me
I wanna be me

Chorus
Cause You see the real me
Hiding in my skin
Broken from within
Unveil me completely
I’m loosening my grasp
There’s no need to mask my frailty
Oh, Cause You see the real me
And You love me
Just as I am
Wonderful, beautiful
Is what You see
When You look at me

First – thank you to everyone who messaged/commented/called about my post from yesterday. That means a lot to me and I’m sorry if I don’t/didn’t respond. The hardest part of sharing is that I hate people knowing when I’m weak and struggling. Don’t we all? Anyway – it is really wonderful to know so many of you are praying for me.

Anyway – I wanted to share a couple songs. Part of the reason that praise and worship has been so hard for me is because my heart talks though songs. Often when I’m in the middle of something God will use songs to talk to me. I also often use songs to share my feelings with other people (Dave, etc). Anyway – here are two songs that have been on my heart all day.

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long ’til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I’m on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I’m on my knees, Father will you turn to me?

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin’ heart?
One light, that’s all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You’re everything You say You are
Won’t You come close and hold my heart

I’ve been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there’s no other way, I’m done asking why.
Cuz I’m on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I’m on my knees, Father will you run to me?

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin’ heart?
One light, that’s all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You’re everything You say You are
Won’t You come close and hold my heart.

So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can’t sleep but I’ll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin’ heart?
One light, that’s all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You’re everything You say You are
Won’t You come close and hold my heart.

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.

You can’t judge a book by it’s cover….  or can you?

I am currently reading a book called “When The Fairy Dust Settles”. It’s a book written as a series of letters between a mother and daughter discussing different issues (from a Christian perspective). The first chapter talkes about fashion and clothes – and was really thought provoking.

What considerations do you make when choosing what you will wear? Obviously we think about things like what will be most comfortable, what will suit the suitation, what you think looks good, what’s in style, etc. And as Christians, we know that modesty is something to consider. Well – we should know anyway. Plenty of us still wear outfits that bring that into question.

But – have you ever stopped to ask your self what impression you will make with your choice of clothing?

Does it matter? I think it does – a lot.  What we wear makes a statement about who we are and what we think is important. As Christians, we are supposed to represent Christ through our lives. Our lives should show Christ-like love to others and makes those around us want what we have – CHRIST.

That means that the impression we make on others around us is the impression we are making for what being a Christian is – for what having Christ in our lives is.

So what message are we giving about Christ if we dress like slobs and can’t be bothered to care about our appearance?

What message are we giving if we dress like hookers with body parts exposured that weren’t meant for public veiwing?

I’m not saying you need to wear top designer fashions or that you have to look like a magazine spread 24-7. Vanity isn’t right either – but when you get dressed in each morning, ask yourself “What does this outfit say about Christ – and about Christ in me?”

After all – we are supposed to represent Christ to the world right?

Okay first of all – I believe strongly in the importance of forgiveness. Matthew 6:15 says that if we refuse to forgive we won’t be forgiven. I mess up daily. Multiple times daily lol. Sometimes majorly. There is no way I am getting anywhere close to heaven without God’s forgiveness so forgiveness is a must.

It still sucks though. Its not fair. I’ll be completely honest – I don’t always want to forgive. When people run all over me and my family with no regard to our feelings but then attack me for anything that I do that might hurt their feelings I don’t want to forgive. I want to yell and scream. I want to shake them until they can see what they are doing! I want to make them see that they are doing the same things to us that they are so bitter about having done to them in the past. And yes part of me wants revenge.

Of course I will forgive. My love for God is still my number one driving force and He demands forgiveness.

Still.

Forgiveness sucks sometimes.

But its always worth it in the end.